Ocean Dome

Ocean Dome: The best thing about this most perfect of beaches is that one visit is sufficient for a lifetime

By Jeremy Atiyah

Published: 16 July 2000

What could possibly be wrong with going to a beach where there was not the slightest risk of drowning in the surf, getting sunburnt, being stung by jellyfish, cutting your toes, standing in dog-poo, inhaling rotten fish or swallowing sewage?

Don't ask me. This is a question for the people of Japan. Because they are the only ones who have got a beach like that - and they don't seem to like it at all.

I, personally, have never been to their Ocean Dome indoor water park at the Seagaia resort in Miyazaki on Kyushu island - but this, unfortunately, is quite typical. The park cost pounds 1bn to build, and hardly anybody goes there any more.

Why would a place as modern as this be on the verge of bankruptcy? The Ocean Dome sounds as though it contains the safest, cleanest beach in the world. So pleasant is it, in fact, that this is where last week's summit of G8 foreign ministers took place - in the resort I mean, not in the water park (gone are the days when Russian and Scandinavian leaders got their best business done while cavorting naked in hot baths).

I remember being terribly impressed by the Ocean Dome when it opened in 1993. Sunbathing on the world's biggest artificial beach, lounging below an artificial sky, shone upon by an artificial sun, warmed to a constant 30C and lapped by artificial waves (adjustable up to 2.5 metres in height) always sounded pretty miraculous. As for a 140-metre beach made of ground marble (which glistened white without sticking to the body), decorated by designer palm trees, off-shore islands and an artificial tropical horizon - well, I could have used a bit of that in place of sunburn and dog-poo.
It doesn't sound so bad now, does it? During your cloudless days at the Ocean Dome you can go shopping for fancy goods in your bathing suit, dine in restaurants with names like Port-au-Prince or Key West, watch pavement lights come on as the sky turns red at the flick of a switch. You can clamber around a fake 18th-century Spanish castle, canoodle with your lover in a fake coconut g arden, visit fake mountains, fake waterfalls, fake valleys, fake bridges, fake caves and fake sanctuaries. Then you can watch fake Polynesian dancing girls and attend re-enactments of fake battles between ancient Roman and Japanese gods.

In other words, a day at the Ocean Dome must be a bit like visiting Hawaii, the Seychelles, Florida, Marbella and ancient Rome all in one day without the trouble of having to fly anywhere.

But do you want to know the best bit of all? The insight to which those sensible Japanese have already had access? It is this. That when you have seen the Ocean Dome once, you never, ever have to go there again. Instead, you can step outside and, hey!, that'll be the real world waiting for you, complete with smelly seaweed, jellyfish and lovely sticky sand.