The spies who came in from the cold
Now that Russia
has an ex-KGB boss as President, Jeremy Atiyah visits the Lubyanka while it's
still a museum
By Jeremy Atiyah
Published: 11 June 2000
If, 30 years from now, my grandchildren ask me to tell them stories of the
KGB, I know where I would like to take them in Further in, under the trees, stand numerous diminutive Lenins, a Kalinin, a Sverdlov. But dwarfing them all, towering in a great green coat at the back of the park, like a race-horse out to grass, looms the shadowy figure of one Felix Dzerzhinsky: the founder of the KGB.
Face-to-face with Dzerzhinsky under the chestnut trees last month, I tried to guess which
Certainly not
I visited it on a cold May morning this year, with an arctic wind spitting snowflakes. In such conditions, Lubyanka still musters a certain bleakness. "Lubyanka? Oh, the name itself sounds sweet, actually," a Russian friend assures me. "Maybe it has some connection with lyubov, meaning 'love'. " But the bowels of this great granite block, with its wire-covered windows, once resounded to the screams of the ideologically incorrect.
Odd, then, that guided visits to the so-called "demonstration hall" of the Russian secret services, right next door, have been possible for some years, even for foreign tourists. This is the new
There is no plaque saying "museum" - only a smiling, beautiful interpreter in her fifties, standing in the street on time for our appointment. My fellow visitors are mostly middle-aged Americans. Our guide, who will refer to himself and to all his colleagues as "professionals", gives his name as Valery. Is this his real name? His eyebrows are so thick and bushy that I suspect they can double as a moustache in a crisis.
"Nothing really secret gets said here," he explains jovially. He reminds me of Mikhail Gorbachev, short and unexpectedly human, cracking jokes about the hell that was 20th-century
The first issue Valery wants to clarify concerns the statue of Dzerzhinsky, the founder of his organisation and hence a Good Thing. "Had he lived in the 1930s, he would have been shot," he exclaims, in his defence. "He wanted to introduce market reforms. He tried to abolish the death penalty. Last year, the Russian parliament voted to return his statue to
The museum was first opened in 1984 by Yuri Andropov, who was chief of the KGB for 15 years. "At that time," Valery explains, "it was strictly an internal affair. We never dreamt that foreign guests would ever be permitted." But then came glasnost, and soon the museum was welcoming not only "fellow professionals from foreign intelligence services" but even plain old tourists.
Visitors have included Robert de Niro, who came in search of inspiration for a possible role as a KGB officer. "He asked me about the uniforms," explains Valery, "until I reminded him that secret service professionals do not wear uniforms." One less probable visitor was the "professional" who now works as the director of the Cold War museum in
The collections of photographs and espionage bric-a-brac are not so much the attractions as the stories that pour from the mouth of this entertaining little man. We hear about Philby, Maclean et al ("they did little damage to
Another outstanding character who emerges is one Bistroletov, one of the greatest "professionals" ever to have worked for the Russian secret services, who spoke 22 languages, and at various times passed himself off successfully as a Chicago gangster, a Brazilian businessman, a Hungarian count and a Greek grocer. Strictly in the interests of his profession he married an Italian countess while - for the same reasons - his (real) wife was busy marrying a German colonel.
The examples of James Bond-style gadgetry on display are less sensational than the stories. Inside glass cases we see the usual tree branches with radio cables inside them, tape recorders in briefcases, hiding places for agents inside rubbish containers, false moustaches, hidden cameras etc. I ask Valery how the challenges facing his organisation have changed in recent years. "Before, we had the
Getting there
Jeremy Atiyah travelled as a guest of Interchange (tel: 020 8681 3612), which specialises in tailor-made packages to the former
Where to stay
Three nights b&b at the Hotel Rossia, including return flights and transfers, costs £ 459 per person, based on two sharing.
Lubyanka tour
Tours take place twice a month, on non-specific days. Booking is essential, through Patriarshy Dom Tours (tel: 007 0957950927). Show up on the day at the tour office round the corner from the Lubyanka and pay $15.
Visas
Interchange can obtain your visa for you, but at least two weeks' notice is required. If applying in person, get to the embassy by
Books: 'The Rough Guide to
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