A litre of beer and many Wursts later...
Is Munich
just a city of Goths
wishing they had been Latins? A BMW-driving people who strip naked in public
parks and guzzle their way through 50 kilos of pork and 150 litres of beer per
head per annum?
Before I visited, I knew it as the city
which devoted itself entirely to beer-drinking every autumn, in the annual
Oktoberfest. Well, yes. But the trouble was that all those supposedly beery
hedonists also sat on benches in the Versailles-like garden of Schloss
Nymphenburg (the old summer palace on the edge of town) having urbane
discussions about Leibnitz and listening to Baroque music. To judge by the
name, Bavaria
(ie Barbary )
may be a land of ill-educated peasants, but what about their famously clean,
compact capital city of pedestrians and cyclists? Their easy access to the Alps ?
Their wealth and their superb art collections?
In short, what on earth was Munich
really about? Intrigued by the contradictions, I set out to investigate.
The town centre, when I first got
there, seemed typically bourgeois and German. The strictly pedestrian precinct
of Marienplatz contained a gothic town hall - its statues, pinnacles and towers
faded to the colour of old driftwood - and an array of spanking new fashion and
department stores. Perfumed shoppers shuffled silently to and fro.
Nearby, I climbed up the tower
of St Peter 's
church for a panoramic view: the utter provinciality of Munich
reflected off its shining new red roofs. There were historic buildings out
there all right, but the only thing that looked old was the Liebfrauendom
church, its two massive domed towers vaguely evoking another Germany , a
dark, forested, pre-Renaissance land. In the distance, beyond the silver,
spidery, tent-like structure of the 1972 Olympic stadium, a ripple of snowy
mountains announced the Alps
and the border with Austria .
On ground level again, signs of that
Germanic obsession with food and drink were all around. Strolling past the
local delicatessen-butchers, under large signs announcing Eigene Schlachtung
("Our own slaughter"), I saw elegant window displays of pig-parts,
including hearts, heads, tongues and trotters. Redoubtable ladies in hats were
purchasing the classiest varieties of Wurst.
As for the Viktualenmarkt off
Marienplatz, I found it packed at 10.30am
with hundreds of people under horse-chestnut trees consuming beer and sausage.
For a pre-noon snack, it seemed, two fat, white Weisswurst, a pretzel and a
dollop of sweet mustard were a mandatory routine for all Bavarians - in
anything from red-checked blazers to leather trousers. I joined in the general
snacking with a bottle of Weissbier, a cloudy, sweetish brew made of wheat
instead of hops.
My fellow drinkers looked entirely at
ease with the notion of belonging to a peasanty, sausage-eating culture, but
this has not always been so. Just north of Marienplatz, the mighty Residenz -
the former royal palace of the rulers of Bavaria -
is one giant tribute to Latin culture. Starting in the 16th century, emulous
Bavarian kings sweated for 300 years on the fear of being left behind by
Renaissance, rococo or neoclassical styles.
After lunch, from the cool halls,
marble floors and classical figures near the entrance of the Residenz I made my
way through to rococo rooms upstairs - extravaganzas splattered with gilt leaf
and coloured stone - as far as Max I's tiny private chapel, comprising seamless
inlays of coloured marble and lapis lazuli of scandalous opulence.
Seventeenth-century shades of BMWs and
red-checked blazers? The ultimate was yet to come. The Altes Residenztheater at
the back of the palace was the most ostentatious little room I had ever seen, a
rococo riot built by the Belgian dwarf, Cuvillies, in which every column was
the torso of a Bacchic youth, every balustrade a creeping tendril. Forget about
performance art - this theatre was so intimate that people only came to watch
each other. It was not exactly the court of Louis XIV, but how the Bavarians
wished it had been.
But the German adulation of Latin
culture is a commonplace. Less well known is the oddity of some of their other
heroes. Great militarists? Gothic conquerors? Car manufacturers perhaps?
Actually, no. In the eyes of Muncheners, the greatest Bavarian remains their
19th-century king, the foppish Ludwig II, whose interests in life boiled down
to opera and fairy tales. Hating his own capital, Ludwig II built no monuments in
Munich at
all - his contribution to posterity was the fantastic castle
of Neusch-
wanstein in the mountains beyond.
Emotional, solitary, foreboding: these
old Germanic concepts couldn't help cropping up. From a sunny, leafy street, I
ducked into a dark, shrine- like museum devoted to the another Bavarian hero,
one Princess Sisi, a tragic, anorexic 19th-century princess who has never been
forgotten by her people. Photos of this Princess Di figure, miserably married
to the Emperor of Austria, showed her with dark hair, a tight mouth and firm
brows. I saw her parasol, her nightshirt, her mantel, even her travel medicine
box containing Cocainspritze and Opium mit ther. In 1898 she was pointlessly
stabbed to death by an Italian anarchist in a case of mistaken identity.
It turns out that nobody appreciates
the poignancy of pointlessness more than the purposeful Germans. In the
Isartor, one of the original gates of the old city wall, I came across another
little shrine-museum, this time full of grinning locals. The Valentin museum,
which has ironic opening hours (10.01am
to 5.29pm ), commemorates the life of Valentin, Munich 's
equivalent to Charlie Chaplin, a joker with a Pinocchio nose. While I was
inside, a grey-bearded artist in the courtyard was pointlessly arranging and
rearranging bollards.
Thank God for Germany 's
degenerate side. Up in the north of the city, in the once Bohemian area known
as Schwabing, I dropped in on the Alter Simpl, a wood-panelled cafe of high
intellectual decadence where Thomas Mann dreamt up the physically enfeebled
heroes of his novels, and where the satirical magazine Simplicissimus was
launched. Sipping a beer under a nicotine-stained plaster ceiling, I admired
two ancient locals at the bar who might have been character models for Death in
Venice .
As for the royals, it wasn't only
Ludwig II who had had decadent tendencies. His grandfather Ludwig I had an
entire room in the Schloss Nymphenburg filled with paintings of his favourite
women. The result, which I visited on a sunny Sunday afternoon, was the
Schonheitengalerie, or gallery of beauties, a crowd of 160-year-old, life-like
Jane Austen babes with curled or plaited hair. No vulgar blondes these, though
some wore saucy transparent sleeves and low-cut frocks. Of all the pictures,
the girl with the hottest lips was none other than Lola Montez - the English
girl, masquerading as a Spaniard, whose scandalous relationship with the king
helped to precipitate his abdication in 1848.
Which was all very well, but did the
past's decadence reflect the whole truth about modern Munich ? I
decided to forgo one of the world's greatest art collections, in the Alte
Pinakothek, in favour of a visit to a thoroughly up-to-date establishment, the Deutsches Museum -
a celebration of German science, technology and industry.
This was something else. Scattered over
countless halls and floors were rooms devoted to specialist subjects such as
mining, ore dressing, machine tools and electrical engineering. Engines seemed
to stimulate people in this country. "Yes, but you see the crankshaft was
going this way and the pistons did not react under the power of the steam until
the driveshaft..." Peering into a contraption with cogs, pistons, pipes
and shafts spiralling out in all directions, I overheard two men urgently discussing
the steam engine. "No, no, no. You see the crankshaft..."
The aeronautic section was even more
appealing. German technology had lagged in this department: the fuselage of one
of their earliest planes, the Messerschmitt ME163, looked as short and dumpy as
a constipated bumble bee. But before there was time to gloat, I came across the
German perspective on car construction, a catalogue of success that we never
learnt in school: in 1879, the first two-stroke petrol engine was invented by
Mr Benz; in 1883 the first car engine was patented by Mr Daimler; in 1897, the
first diesel engine was presented by (yes) Mr Diesel.
All in all, the Deutsches Museum
had been awesome. But had I yet seen the best of Munich ?
That evening I stepped into the famous Hofbrauhaus, or "Court
Brewhouse", for a drop of Munchener beer.
It was like stepping into a very noisy
cathedral. Massive columns supported a cool, vaulted ceiling. The
leathery-shorts-and-feathery-hat brigade were represented by a few moustachioed
gentlemen; 2,000 more roaring drinkers lined benches that stretched away into
the distance. The oompah band, trumpeting and yodelling, played tunes of
tear-jerking innocence. I squeezed on to a bench, shouted for Wurst and a litre
of beer, and was soon rollicking arm-in-arm with a stubbly Austrian on one side
and a grande dame from Frankfurt on
the other. Forget Baroque, forget Ludwig II, forget even Daimler-Benz. At that
moment, Munich 's
gift, the most cheerful pub in the world, felt good enough for me.
Getting there
The author flew courtesy of Lufthansa
(Tel: 0345 737737), who fly six times daily between Heathrow and Munich, twice
daily from Birmingham and three times daily from Manchester. Fares from London
start from pounds 129 return, plus taxes.
If you are willing to put up with the
discomfort of a 22 hour bus ride, you can also get to Munich
and back on Eurolines (Tel: 0990 808080) for just pounds 94.
Getting around
The U-Bahn and S-Bahn systems (for
underground and surface trains respectively) are extensive. From the airport to
the town centre costs DM13.40 (about pounds 4.50).
On foot or by bicycle is by far the
best way to see Munich .
Bikes can be rented from an agency at the railway station; they are also
available from many of the outer S-Bahn stations.
Places to stay
The author was a guest of the
Vierjahreszeiten Kempinski (reservations: Tel: 0800 868588) one of Germany 's
leading hotels. During the beer festival twin rooms cost pounds 169 and doubles
pounds 203. The winter rate from Nov 1 is pounds 100 for all rooms.
Budget accommodation is also available
in pensions and youth hostels; call the tourist board (below) for details. Book
early during the Oktoberfest.
More information
The helpful German tourist board in the
UK is
on 0171 4930080. In Munich itself,
there are information offices in the train station, the airport and also at
Rindermarkt in Pettenbeckstrasse.
Of the various Germany
guidebooks available, the best is the Cadogan Guide (Cadogan Books, pounds
15.99) which is an insightful and unusual pleasure to read, despite being a
1994 edition.
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